I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
