i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
