my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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