Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
