I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
