What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
