Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A+ Viking dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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