You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
