i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
