Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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