I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
