I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
