..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
