I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
