Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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