Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I party with great urgency now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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