wanna go halves on a baby?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
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omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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