so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
