the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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