Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
