he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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