So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
