It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Operation Purity has been aborted
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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