I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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