I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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