i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
