I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
