yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize