As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
