not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
