hell yes lets make some ravioli
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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