we're blogging at a bar
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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