i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
