Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
