why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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