Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
