Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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