Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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