Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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