I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
