i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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