Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize