just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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