Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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