the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
