Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
