Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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