ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
