Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Alive.
So much puke
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
