Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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