I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
