So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
