tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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