Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
