Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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