I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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