One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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