Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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