She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Holy sore nipples Batman
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
