She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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