I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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