You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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