I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
