I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
