So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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