Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
